Monday, April 25, 2005

festival of books

Went to the Festival of Books at the UCLA. Had so much fun browsing all the books on display. Met a couple of authors too. One actually spent some time talking to me about his work, his travels to make his work seem real and what motivates him to write. He sounded interesting so I bought his book with my fingers crossed. Its with a hope that I am not wasting my money buying his book and my time reading it.

The title, "I'm sorry... Love Anne", turned out pretty good. He's put enough twist and turns in the novel to keep you reading (I actually finished it in one sitting). Plot was simple enough but he managed to make it more intriguing but not too complicated that you would lose interest because it deviated too far from the original story line. He also made a poem at the very end which he said would summarize what the characters in the story went through. It was a poem I think anyone would be able to identify to.

Here's to more authors...

Monday, April 18, 2005

facts of life

I've just read on someone's blog that her sister's diagnosis is not good, maybe six months to live. On top of that, she has to go through some tests to find out if she might suffer the same fate. I do not know her personally, I have only seen her thoughts on her blog, and can only imagine what hardship she is going through. This is for her...

Silence Beyond Words

I walk the shores of uncertainty
In fear of the waves that could take me
But journey on I must, for life to be
To turn back now is pure cowardice

I have neither the strength nor the will to go on
But your faith in me is not to be ignored
"Hold my hand till I make my leave"
How can one ignore a loved one's plea?

I can feel my pain, but never yours
I can hold your hand through the very worst
I can't live your life, but I'll share you mine
A journey through the silence beyond words, you and I.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

on the path to the altar...

Last Monday, my officemate told me that he just gave his girlfriend an engagement ring. Great news! I congratulated him and said am very happy for him. I was actually excited for both of them. He told me that they both think the time is right, partly because they haven't have a fight in two years. Boy! what a track record. Wish I can say the same for myself, but that's beside the point.

I did tell him that planning a wedding is very stressing specially on the part of the woman. That in case they do have a disagreement, its not because of them but the pressure of preparing for the wedding. She called that same night. After a while, my officemate came up to me and said, "you were right, she is getting stressed over the wedding". I told him it's just the beginning, wait till the date is set and is actually moving nearer and nearer...

This is not the voice of doom, its just that I know that a lot of couples actually do end up fighting because the wedding date draws near. It's not their fault, a lot have to be done to make it happen and most of the time, a lot of things can go wrong. Stress or not, for most couples its the way to go. After the wedding, when all the guests have gone home, they can hug each other and say everything was worth it.

To my officemate and his bride to be... may you both end up not breaking your record! Best wishes to both of you.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

is it the truth?

took one of those online quizzes and here's what they gave me.

You scored as Justice (Fairness). Your life is guided by the concept of Fair Justice: Everyone, yourself included, should be rewarded and punished according to the help or harm they cause.

"He who does not punish evil commands it to be done."

--Leonardo da Vinci

"Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace."

--Dwight D. Eisenhower

More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...

Justice (Fairness)












Divine Command


Strong Egoism




What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with

Thursday, April 07, 2005

the american dream

Boy, am I sleepy... Had to wake up so early for a 7:15 appointment at the INS office. I am now what you call a legal permanent resident. Some would call it the real start of the American dream, I guess I don't have any strong objection to that.

But what exactly is the American dream? Quite honestly, I have no idea. I never even understood how one can call it an American dream, when in all reality, I'm still the same. I might soon become an American citizen, but aside from changing citizenship or acquiring a second citizenship, I will basically be the same person. Is the American dream becoming a US citizen, working in the US and doing everything American? Maybe.

The cold reality of it, contrary to what others might think, living the American dream means(especially in the beginning), being away from your family, working really hard and for longer hours, having to set up appointments to be with friends, instead of the usual "let's go out",spur of the moment thing, getting home dead tired, ready for bed but still have to do housework. Money can be good, but with it is the loss of most things that money can't buy.

Why do it? For the best interest of the family, to better oneself, and to become the "dream". Is it worth it? Most of the time, yes. For the unfortunate few(which might be more in numbers than we think), no. It all depends on each individual and the people supporting them.

Is this the American dream or a Filipino's dream to be an American?

Sunday, April 03, 2005

from a newbie to a techie

I wish! Am trying out whatever I can find on making this blog work. Don't know if I'll ever be a "techie" but I sure am having fun pretending to be one. I guess I'll learn sooner or later (later, being the operative word), and they do make it easy nowadays. Free codes and stuff, not like before where you really have to type all the codes by yourself. Well, here's to more learning...

camera shy???? Posted by Hello

the pig, the beauty and the... never mind... Posted by Hello

Hey Zeny, aren't you missing a groom? Posted by Hello

i would have worn shorts if i knew i needed to hitchhike... Posted by Hello

my prince, my prince... huh?!? Posted by Hello

Miss, are you lost or did you run away? Posted by Hello

i must have shrunk since i got here...??? Posted by Hello

at the rose parade... brrrr....cold.... Posted by Hello

friends forever :-) Posted by Hello

si pogi at si maganda Posted by Hello

an officer & a gentleman Posted by Hello

Saturday, April 02, 2005

happy together Posted by Hello

Pope John Paul II

Pope John Paul II died at 9:37 p.m. Saturday (2:37 p.m. ET) in his private apartment, the Vatican said. He was 84.

And so his journey ends. Ours is just beginning.

I saw this in one of the books I was reading.

Some old people are oppressed by the fear of death. In the young there is a justification for this feeling. Young men who have reason to fear that they will be killed in battle may justifiably feel bitter in the thought that they have been cheated of the best things that life has to offer. But in an old man who has known human joys and sorrows, and has achieved whatever work it was in him to do, the fear of death is somewhat abject and ignoble. The best way to overcome it-so at least it seems to me-is to make your interest gradually wider and more impersonal, until bit by bit the walls of the ego recede, and your life becomes increasingly merged in the universal life. An individual human existence should be like a river-small at first, narrowly contained within its banks, and rushing passionately past boulders and over waterfalls. Gradually the river grows wider, the banks recede, the water flows more quietly, and in the end, without any visible break, they become merged in the sea, and painlessly lose their individual being. The man who, in old age, can see his life in this way, will not suffer from the fear of death, since the things he care for will continue. And if, with the decay of vitality, weariness increases, the thought of rest will be not unwelcome.
- Bertrand Russell's New Hopes for a Changing World

He was a man who had seen great joys and great sorrows. He started small and became a man of the world. It is time for him to rest and for us to make sure that what he started in his lifetime will continue beyond ours.

Friday, April 01, 2005

all smiles for the terrible trio... Posted by Hello

a very dear friend & his family

three's company Posted by Hello

mother and son Posted by Hello

mother and daughter Posted by Hello

the terrible trio Posted by Hello

a glimpse...

Once again my heart felt pain
Unbidden my mind remembered
A long time ago when you were mine
And I cried

For all the wasted time
For all that I've lost
Knowing you are gone

Will I live with my pain
Wanting to forget but always remembering
Living, knowing I will love you

Myself, my lifetime
All of me, only for you
Realizing the futility of forgetting you


Sunset in wintertime, the same sun setting but so very different from the other sunset in other parts of the world. Dressed warmly to combat the cold weather, Gracie felt the chill from within. She thinks of the tree, of the couples lined at the sides while cars and jeepneys passed by, of children playing, soccer games, the balut vendor... wondering if he still watches the sun set at their favorite spot under the coconut tree.

It feels like a lifetime ago, but it's only the third year that she's been coming to this place. She found it by accident. It was one of those days that she needed to get away, to re-focus on what she has to do, to convince herself that everything will turn out okay. It was late afternoon, and the sun was about to set, she saw it from the corner of her eyes, something that reminded her of something from somewhere, not so long ago...

She parked the car and walked towards the tree, the only one on this side of the park. The sun and the sky was beginning their everyday dance, setting the stage for yet another breathtaking display. She sat down mesmerized. It was like being brought back in time, to a place that holds so many memories.

We were just walking around, trying to let off some steam after a heated argument over something very trivial, so trivial that we can hardly remember what it was about minutes later. The sun was about to set, Gracie saw the tree and suggested that they sit down as she was getting tired. They sat down quietly with their own thoughts occupying them as they gaze at the sunset.

"I just love the sunset." Gracie said after some time.

"I know, isn't it beautiful? He said.
He turned to her quietly and said, "I know you said we should just be friends, but I don't think it's going to work out that way. I love you Gracie, but I think you already knew that." He gave a nervous laugh. "I mean, it must show every time I'm with you. Everybody says I look like a lost soul when you're not around and that I'm the happiest person when you are. It's all true, Gracie. I am lost without you. I hope I have shown you enough how much I care about you. I know you care about me too, but do you care enough to walk the path with me?"

She sat silent, letting the words linger long after it was said, thinking if she dared take him up on his offer, wondering what life would be like with him, without him. She had grown accustomed to him being around all the time, turning to him every time she needed someone. She turned to look into his eyes, searching deep, and finally finding the answer. Yes, this is where I'm supposed to be, beside this man, watching sunsets with him... Finally, Gracie smiled shyly, and said "yes."

That was start of a lifetime together, until that fateful day when she had to say goodbye. Nothing much was said. Just the simplest of goodbyes though the emotions that came with it are far from that.

Gracie hugged herself tighter, the winter chill is seeping through her layers of clothes. She absently wiped the tears that flowed freely as she relived the happy times they had together, and the darker times that seemed to have lingered far longer after she said goodbye. The sun has finally set. Only traces of light showed on the horizon. It is time to go. Goodbye again, I will be back next year. Gracie walks back to her car, head bowed down. She looks back one more time wondering... and smiled, maybe somewhere...

- from Gracie's point of view.

my sunset

to continue his story...

Unknown to him, she was hurting inside. She didn't know how to break the news. It would devastate him. She took a deep breath and started to say something...

"I am so sorry, (whatever the name of the guy is since you forgot to provide one) there is something very important that i have to tell you. I will be flying to the US in 3 days... to stay there for good."

He sits up and looks at her bewildered, "what are you trying to tell me?"

"I have to ask you to let me go, " Gracie said.

"But why?" "Why didn't you tell me you were planning to leave?" "What about us? our future?" And he chokes back the tears scared to ask the one question that will crush him.

She dared not look at him.

"I'm so sorry." And Gracie gets up to leave. "Goodbye, I hope you find someone who will love you more than I ever could." She whispers as she walks away, not looking back, afraid that what she will see will make her stay.

And so, 3 days later, he is sitting at their favorite spot, looking at the sunset, watching as the plane grows smaller taking Gracie far away. Remembering the happy times spent with her watching the sunset, still hoping that there will be another sunset to watch with her, somewhere...

somebody's sunset


The setting sun gave the December sky an orange and purple shade. The birds flew in military-like formation with the darkening clouds above them. He sat at their favorite spot - under the lone coconut tree in the vast garden of grass. Children were playing and laughing near him. Across, young men played soccer. Couples lined the sides while the car and jeepneys pass around the garden. He squeezed himself, rubbing his palms to stay warm. Then he smiled as a tear fell down his cheek.

Three days ago he was here with her.

"I just love sitting here, passing time, watching the sunset with you Gracie" he said. "Remember the first time we were here? We were still freshmen then, innocent, curios and lost." She was silent.

"I was the vain Cebuano who was having a hard time living alone. While you... you were the classy private school graduate who worried so much about her grades." He sighed, stopped for a few seconds, reminiscing. He let out a few laughs. "You were snobby then, and that's what attracted me to you. I just love it when you throw your hair and raise your chin and give that look to people who annoy you." She smiled weakly without breaking her gaze at the balut vendor who was resting by the slopes.

"Oh how we were then," he continued. "And how we changed. We changed..."

Slowly the sun began its descent behind the trees lining the garden. Crickets chatter about wile the leaves sway at the wind's steady whisper.

"This is where you answered my courting. Where you gave your yes. Do you remember Gracie? Of course you do. We were on our second year. December wasn't it?" he asked.

"9th" she spilled out.

"Yes yes, I was filled with joy that I ran the whole length of this place twice. It was the happiest day of my life."

"I love you Gracie," he exhaled. He looked at her and marveled at the beauty beside him. Her hair was long and jet black. She was slender yet not so thin. Her eyes glistened like diamonds and her lips as rubies. She held her chin on her knees. She was quiet.

Only silence separated them from each other now. He spoke again.

"Is there anything wrong? You seem to be very quiet. Are you feeling bad?"

She silently swayed her head... no.

He let her be. He lied down on the grass and closed his eyes. He thought of their happy times. He imagined the future, carefully planning out his moves, a nice house in a secure village. Two cars, an excellent job, then coming home to Gracie each night after a long day. She was his first. Hopefully his last.

Unknown to him, she was hurting inside. She didn't know how to break the news. It would devastate him.

this is a story i wrote last year...dedicated to a friend because she likes sunsets so much.

this is FICTION. and all the characters are fictitious. any similarities to any person or event are purely coincidental and was not meant. (i forgot how the disclaimer goes... :) )

how would you like the story to end?