Farewell, Tita Leony

Oftentimes we go through life, focused on what we have to do, where we want to go, almost forgetting that there are more important things we need to keep track of in this life. After a tragedy, we try so hard to get on with our lives hoping that we can wake up one day and everything is as it should be. But sometimes, life can be unfair. Instead of waking up to a bright new day, you wake up to find yourself living in another nightmare.

We've had two deaths in the family last year. The first one was my uncle who passed away after months in a coma. The next, my own Dad. He passed away within months of his older brother. We still haven't recovered with the loss. I still break down at times whenever I remember all the plans we made... And now, my Dad's sister just joined them. I woke up to my phone's ringing... my cousin informed me that Tita Leony passed away due to aneurysm. Details eluded me at the time, all I heard was that someone had died... again. After putting the phone down, I got up and went through the motions of making coffee. I just had to have one... I need it to calm myself down. And I sat there, thinking nothing except for the fact that for the third time, we lost someone in the family... and if I wanted to be superstitious about it, they all died within months... nine months(more of less) of each other's passing.

Tita Leony... a prominent figure as I was growing up. Every Christmas morning after mass, we'd go to their massive house for breakfast and gifts. We'd even stay for lunch, they always have a feast because they have such a big family. I'm always excited going there for Christmas, I always get something special. And then there's this Lenten season tradition. We'd go there on Black Saturday to string sampaguitas together. This is for the Risen Christ, the one that goes on parade at the break of dawn to meet up with Mother Mary. My Dad was the one always assigned to polish the gold and silver ornaments on the cape. If it weren't for these occassions, I probably wouldn't have gotten to know all my cousins. I know she took my Dad's death really hard. After my uncle's death, my Dad would call or sometimes drop by for a chat. I can understand the feeling of being totally alone. Her other siblings are here in the US, I guess it almost felt like there was only the two of them left.

Death... an end and a beginning. Acceptance is one thing, but the pain will persist, so will the loneliness. Only time can tell when the memory of the loss won't hurt as much.

Farewell, Tita Leony. I know you will be happy where you're going... and you will be remembered by all of us with love.