Happy 17th Birthday, Kyla.

I never get tired of telling this story, probably because it's too funny not to be told... plus I still am not over leaving my halo-halo behind :p

17 years ago today at around 12:30pm(Phil. time), me and my now ex-husband were at the food court of SM North Edsa. We went there because I badly wanted to eat some halo-halo from Sandosenang Sarap. With a wide grin on my face, I got ready to eat my bounty. As I lift the spoon to my mouth, a sharp pain stopped me... ooppss, I said, I'm having contractions. So I put my spoon down and did some deep breathing while massaging my tummy. After a few minutes, the pain went away. I happily picked up my spoon and was about to place my much awaited halo-halo in my mouth when again, pain kicked in... with dwindling patience, I put my spoon down again for the second time, did some more breathing exercises, etc... again, after a few minutes, the pain went away. And so, I got ready to eat (again). As the spoonful of halo-halo neared my almost watering mouth, a third stab of pain hit me. By this time, both my ex and I are getting worried that I am indeed starting my labor pains. He decided amidst my protestations that we should immediately leave for the hospital. Obviously, I don't want to do that, not when my halo-halo is still left untouched. He prevailed, and bundled us off in a taxi headed for PGH.

Once there, I was admitted and was taken to the labor room. No offense, but I did not particularly liked my stay in that room. What with women shouting all sorts of obscenities to their husbands for putting them in this situation, not to mention the fact that at that time, there was a hysterical woman who kept shouting because according to her, it was too painful. Now, imagine that, and it's your first time to give birth... scared to death was how I felt with all the ruckus going on. Luckily, I was given an intern to monitor my progress. He's gay, and quite frankly, I was very thankful for that because he took my mind off the pain and the horror that was going on inside that labor room, by being... well, gay and very funny. He even taught me how to push when the time came... now this came with complete instruction plus facial expression (imagine what a raisin looked like and imagine that looking like someone's face)... so you see why I was laughing the whole time I was in labor.

Seeing I had to leave my halo-halo behind, I was getting impatient, but my baby decided not to come out till the early hours the next day. I couldn't remember the exact time (old age), but it's either 1:11am or 1:21am of August 1. At the delivery room, everyone was placing bets as to who will give birth first(there was another woman giving birth in the adjacent room). And the race is on... celebrity gossip was the topic of the day (I think it was Maricel Soriano and Edu Manzano at that time).I wasn't sure who won the race for giving birth, I was pretty much out of it by the time the baby came out. There was one thing I had to do first before I totally relaxed. I had to make sure how she looked like, I was weird that way, I had to make sure the name will fit the baby. It took me months to decide on her name and I had to make sure the name becomes her.

My mothering skills were far from orthodox. That's why I am so lucky to have a daughter like you. I know I've made decisions that were not popular, but luckily, they're turning out to be the right ones. We won't always agree, the mere fact I am your mom will see to that ;p plus you have a lot of me in you (something you believe otherwise... well, maybe not the "bitch" part, you're way to good to ever be that), but you are after all my daughter.

And so, here you are, 17 years later. A beautiful young lady, slowly realizing your own dreams, struggling to find your niche, sometimes still unsure of yourself, but nevertheless determined to make it. You are your own person, and you will become what you make of yourself. Family, friends, collegues, acquaintances and even a special someone, they will all be part of your life, but remember, through everything, it is YOU that matters. Live life to the fullest, experience everything, shy away from nothing, dream... never stop dreaming, learn from your mistakes, but most of all, do not regret life. Accept, learn and rise above every challenge that comes your way and become what you have always been meant to be, your very own self.

in contemplation...

In church while waiting for the bride's arrival. Haven't really been to church for quite some time (unless having mass for my Dad's wake counts). But my friend, Obi, is getting married, so I had to come. I have never been a church-goer, probably because I always find it irritating that most priests in the Philippines would rather talk about politics than the word of God. Not to mention numerous secrets they hide behind their robes. It was a great day for a wedding even though I think we reached triple digits with the temperature. Good thing both the church and the reception venues were air-conditioned.

It was a Catholic wedding although the bride and groom are both of Nigerian descent. It was because of this that a lot of the guests were wearing their traditional Nigerian attire complete with elaborate hats. I would love to post a picture, but am not sure if they might take offense( so I took this from the web). They also incorporated some of the Nigerian wedding customs like the breaking/sharing of the "kola nut". After the ceremony the nut was passed around for the guests to taste... it has a weird combination, slightly spicy and totally bitter. Two flavors I am not fond of... Yikes! I had to chew on something else to get rid of the taste from my mouth. Lots of dancing followed with guests throwing money at the new couple (kinda like pinning money on the bride and groom at Filipino weddings). I could not even begin to comprehend everything that happened in that wedding. All I know (and I think that it's the most important), is that it was a great wedding and my friend (the groom) is made a happier man.

you may kiss the bride...

A night of comedy

I spent a great evening with friends. Yey! Good times a few and far in between so I like to savor it. We went to Improve Comedy Club at La Brea and watched SLANTED COMEDY with EDWIN SAN JUAN. It's great when you watch something worthwhile. Most of the comedians are good (almost all Asians, I think it was some sort of Asian night), though there were I think 2 or 3 that could use some good materials for their 10 minutes of fame. Aside from Edwin (who also acted as host of the show), one other comedian stood out, JoKoy, who will have his own slot in Comedy Central this fall. Jokes were racially motivated, some are the usual greens, but all was done in the spirit of fun. Part I liked most was when they highlighted some Filipino traits like saying "hoy" to call someone or using your lips to point at something and not to forget the use of "big" English words that are not even used by Americans... those were hilarious.

They have other shows lined up, so if you have time, check them out at their respective websites.

Better... and excited.

Finally, things are looking up. I am finally feeling a lot better from my "accident". I have decided to stop taking my meds (the ones prescribed to me) because I felt that I am not getting better because of it. Indeed, I was getting migraines! The minute the pain meds run their course, my headache starts to come out, not to mention I have this heavy feeling on my shoulders... really, it's just one long list of something else wrong aside from my back. So, I decided, no more pain meds. I will just have to tough it out or just take Tylenol or something. The first few days... not fun, but I got the hang of it. At least I can feel it if I do happen to have pain in my body. This way I was able to gauge how much I can do, which way I can move, etc. Hah! And that I hope is the start of getting better :p

And now, I am excited! My friend just flew in from the Philippines. I wil be picking her up later today. Wohoo!!! So many things to catch up with. Haven't seen her in I think 2 or 3 years. Sadly, my schedule at work did not agree with her schedule so I have but limited time to spend with her. But that's okay, the most important thing is to see each other.

Scrapblog

Joined Scrapblog win a trip to BlogHer Conference 07 ;p

of all the stupid things...

No, I did not officially break any bone in my body, at least I don't think so. I might have pulled a muscle or so by doing a really stupid thing. What? I lifted a 50 lbs sack of rice. Stupid? Yeah, I know... but i was so used to doing this all the time. But it wasn't the pain that's prompting my visit to the doctor, it's something else...

When I lifted that sack of rice, I heard a small but distinct "popping" sound, then immediately after hearing it, I felt the pain shoot up from my back, alongside with that pain, my vision "blacked out" as in all was black... for about 2 seconds, then when light came back, it was totally blurry. No, I did not compound my stupidity by falling flat on my face. I managed to hold on to the corners of the kitchen counter and when my vision did not return to normal, I called my son to escort me to bed. I called my friend, who's a "hilot" and went to see her. Why did I not go to the ER? Sorry, but unless I am about to die, I do not relish spending thousands of dollars and end up getting sicker from worrying where to get the money to pay for all the bills. Sadly, even with insurance, that's just the way it is. So I opted to get a massage, which gave me immense relief afterwards and scheduled a doctor's visit for Monday. Back pain is somewhat normal for me, I have it every now and then, it's the "black out" thing that worries me. I probably would get x-rayed which is fine, hopefully whatever I have will not warrant crutches... and whatever else, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

- - Update - - I do have pulled muscle, I'm on pain killers, need to see a nuerologist and I think I need to have a life ;p

Monday madness

This morning, my daughter and I were greeted with a humongous traffic on the 10 freeway. We listened in to the traffic report which said that there's been an accident on 10 west at 710 north. I figured we'd just hang tough, we have enough time to get to work. When we got to the accident site, there was a yellow plastic covering something. My first thought was someone must have had a really bad accident and am wondering if that person is dead. Once I got work out of the way, I looked up the cause of the accident which made me late. Sigalerts call for partial or total road closure, this one caused more than an hour delay on a 1 mile stretch(I do not want to imagine what it was like for those coming further away). Imagine the surprise I got when out of the site that reports traffic incidents, it said,

10 West at 710 North
Attempt Suicide - Jumping from Bridge
6:15 AM

I guess whoever that was succeded... it's sad that one should have that much burden, enough to cause his/her death. I hope finally there's peace.

heavenly corner

A tiny corner for me to start or end the day. A good book and a cup of coffee sure goes a long way. Bench courtesy of my friend, thanks a lot for contributing to my character quirks.

for what it's worth...

the mind wanders, where the heart dare not go
seek out the truth, instead of drown in emotions
a blessing or a curse that I am made this way
this is me, that is all I have to say...

fragile life...

Once again I am reminded of how fragile life can be. How we can lose everything in a blink of an eye. That no matter how we plan everything to perfection, life might find it necessary to change our point of view.

A friend once said to me, enjoy life, make sure you live it to the fullest, do not leave a stone unturned, don't miss out on the happiness a moment might bring... in the end, all you can really say is, I have lived. He said this so long ago that I have forgotten, until yesterday when he said my Dad's generation's time has come. They've lived their lives and reached the end of their journey, so it's time to move on. The ones left behind will grieve, but we also have to move on because life continues for us.

I feel really blessed. To have friends who knows me well enough to find the right things to say at the right time. Life can be tough, but with friends like you, living it becomes easier.

Farewell, Tita Leony

Oftentimes we go through life, focused on what we have to do, where we want to go, almost forgetting that there are more important things we need to keep track of in this life. After a tragedy, we try so hard to get on with our lives hoping that we can wake up one day and everything is as it should be. But sometimes, life can be unfair. Instead of waking up to a bright new day, you wake up to find yourself living in another nightmare.

We've had two deaths in the family last year. The first one was my uncle who passed away after months in a coma. The next, my own Dad. He passed away within months of his older brother. We still haven't recovered with the loss. I still break down at times whenever I remember all the plans we made... And now, my Dad's sister just joined them. I woke up to my phone's ringing... my cousin informed me that Tita Leony passed away due to aneurysm. Details eluded me at the time, all I heard was that someone had died... again. After putting the phone down, I got up and went through the motions of making coffee. I just had to have one... I need it to calm myself down. And I sat there, thinking nothing except for the fact that for the third time, we lost someone in the family... and if I wanted to be superstitious about it, they all died within months... nine months(more of less) of each other's passing.

Tita Leony... a prominent figure as I was growing up. Every Christmas morning after mass, we'd go to their massive house for breakfast and gifts. We'd even stay for lunch, they always have a feast because they have such a big family. I'm always excited going there for Christmas, I always get something special. And then there's this Lenten season tradition. We'd go there on Black Saturday to string sampaguitas together. This is for the Risen Christ, the one that goes on parade at the break of dawn to meet up with Mother Mary. My Dad was the one always assigned to polish the gold and silver ornaments on the cape. If it weren't for these occassions, I probably wouldn't have gotten to know all my cousins. I know she took my Dad's death really hard. After my uncle's death, my Dad would call or sometimes drop by for a chat. I can understand the feeling of being totally alone. Her other siblings are here in the US, I guess it almost felt like there was only the two of them left.

Death... an end and a beginning. Acceptance is one thing, but the pain will persist, so will the loneliness. Only time can tell when the memory of the loss won't hurt as much.

Farewell, Tita Leony. I know you will be happy where you're going... and you will be remembered by all of us with love.