birthday surprises, wishes, and appreciation

No rest for the weary... birthday or not I had to work. Couldn't very well take another vacation seeing as I had only come back from one ;p But, I am not complaining. In fact, I think this must have been my best birthday to date.

Sliding into my parking space at 12:30am of Jan. 21 (my bday, having had to work my usual midnight shift), I felt a little tired but surprisingly okay. Checked our mailbox, got on the elevator, opened the door... hmmm, why is it dark? and... three people jumped out from under the sheets and started singing happy birthday! It turned out that Kyla, Axel and my Mom labored hours before to come up with an impromptu birthday dinner... and I even got another cat necklace for my gift. Best surprise ever!

But the surprise did not end there... On the afternoon of the same day, Axel sent me a text msg saying somebody sent me flowers but he doesn't know who it was from. I told him maybe its from Lola, saying jokingly that why would she give me flowers when I'm not dead yet. I say this because my Mom would always buy flowers for my Dad and my sister for their special days (and they're on the other side of life). Axel finally figured out who the flowers were from... Ralline! And I got something to look forward to (again) going home from work ;D

2008 has been a humbling year for me. Loss... always a hard thing to bear but made doubly so because of how dear it was to me. I lost a part of me I could never recover. The pain... was nothing compared to the void that settled within me. I would have preferred the pain than this void I could never fill.

My children, the main reason why I exist. To my daughter... I am glad to finally see you breaking out of your self imposed shell. You will never know how much it pains me to see you so unsure of yourself, so affected by what others think of you. We may not be going through the same things, but believe me when I say, I know. I know how hard it is to really believe in yourself and be happy. Things happen for a reason, but it is what we do with the things that happened that matters. To my son... always so patient and protective of me, I'm happy to see you finding yourself and enjoying life. It's okay to be a teenager. I love you both.

To my Mom... I know at times I'm short of patience, but that does not mean I don't love and appreciate you. I can only keep trying and I promise to always be here.

To my nephews... I know how hard its been for the both of you and I am so proud with the way both of you have handled what is probably the most difficult year of your lives. Keep looking after each other and remember that we are all here for you.

My dearest friends, as always, saying thank you will never be enough.

Dibbs, at times you know me better than I know myself. I've been a heavy cross to bear, yet you never wavered. During those times that I start to crumble, you patched me up, reinforcing my will, willing me not to give up.

Ralline, I have been continuously blessed having you and your family looking after me and my family. More than the gifts you never forget to shower us with, I always look forward to spending time with you... adventures seem to follow us around when we're together.;p Time and distance are but trivialities we have to deal with.

Mary Ann and Ella, I know our schedules get in the way, but thank you for being there when I needed all the help I can get.

Pet, Bong, Opet and even Roger... know that I am here for you guys as much as I know you are all there for me.

Zyrel and Jo deserve a special mention... for pushing me to go back to school. For believing and making me believe that I can still do it ;p

JanJan and Camille, for friendships beyond ;p ... I'm a cupcake fan forever!

Andre, a pleasant surprise to hear from you. I'm always just a message away.

Beloved, hmmm... you are a special person and it takes a special person to really understand and appreciate you. Your daughter adores you, but more than that she loves you and I know she'd like nothing better that to see you happy, really and truly happy. I may not have seen you for 20 years, but I still remember how your eyes light up when you're happy. I wonder if I'll ever see it again. I'm sorry.

Al, rare for me as it is, my prayers are with you. We're all here for you.

As for my birthday wish... I have none. I have given it away to the one person who needs it more than I do. And my birthday wishes are nothing to laugh about... they've always come true. So, wish away, you know who you are. This is the only gift I can give that is worth more than anything money can buy.

Birthdays give one a chance to look back, to see everything that's happened, to remember and appreciate every single event that led to the present. Life is never easy. It is the journey through it and the people that walk with you along the way that counts.