homeward bound...again

As I read my daughter's Thanksgiving Speech, I can't help but feel sad and happy at the same time. Sad, because in doing what I felt was right years ago, I have robbed her and her brother the right to a normal family life. Happy, that in spite of everything that transpired, she grew up well-adjusted, able to express her feelings, and immensely bright.

It was because of these feelings that I finally decided I should go back to attend her graduation. I had already told her last Christmas that I won't be able to make it because traveling from the US to the Philippines cost a lot of money. Not to mention I just started on a new job. But being a Mom, I can't deny her of her special day just because I'm worried of finances. So I went back.

Got home after midnight. My Dad picked me up from the airport. Nobody told my kids that I'll be making the trip home simply because I don't want to disappoint them in case I really cannot make it. Both of them were fast asleep when I got there. When I went inside the room where my son slept, I really think he "smelled" me(mind you I refused to admit I smell anything but I've been in a plane so who knows), because he just opened his eyes as if expecting that I'd be there. It's a great feeling that he just smiled and opened up his arms to embrace and kiss me. Then Axel and I conspired to jump in Kyla's bed so she'll be surprised when she wakes up. But, plan failed, she woke up right after I got into bed, put her arms around me and simply said "Mama".

I was only there for 5 1/2 days, and it was so tiring especially with the heat. Right after I got back I had to work my 6pm-12mn shift at the library. Now I'm so sleepy, got a cold and slight fever. But it was well worth it, and I am so fortunate to have two wonderful kids.