Saturday, October 29, 2005

shadowed friendship

Recently, a friend asked me what to do in a situation where people are trying to ruin a good friendship. First I had to ask what kind of friendship it is. Is it the real kind or just a superficial one? People in their need to be accepted and loved always make this mistake. Sometimes I think the idea of friendship is doubly hard for this friend of mine because she always have to be careful whether it's really her friendship they want or the just the benefits of being friends with her. She's a very good person and always sees the good in others, but she's also very rich and I've seen people take advantage of that fact while pretending to be her friend. She's very smart but sometimes so naive when it comes to friends and relationships in general.

She tends to be very generous to people around her and sometimes, people just looking in would take it the wrong way. Most of the time she ignores what other people say, but there are times when I guess it gets to be too much. She's also very sweet and this too can cause problems where it shouldn't. But this is her natural self. How can a person change what is natural even for the sake of friendship? Answer is you don't. If the so-called friends can't handle it, then maybe they're not friends after all.

Communication is a good way to figure things out. If the shadow cannot be lifted, then maybe it's time to look behind and through the shadow to see what is real. Is it only other people talking or is it something else? Finding out the truth is important. Sometimes truth will hurt, but I think in the long run it's what matters. Some would say that there will be instances where hiding the truth can be a better choice, but then, can we hide the truth forever?

One of the hardest thing to do is letting go, especially of someone you consider a dear friend. But sometimes, it is necessary and you will be better for it. Maybe not happier, but you'll learn to accept that in time.


azt said...

i think i've read this somewhere... hmmmnn..

maria said...

guilty! been posting in my friends blog.