Thursday, June 16, 2005

a sunset in summer

It's the official first day of summer. Somehow he doesn't think the heat has kicked in yet. It's still very chilly at night and he still uses his comforter because he doesn't like to have the heater on. Most mornings are still overcast, but the days are definitely longer. And there's definitely a longer wait to watch the sunset. How time flies, he thought to himself. Who would have thought that he's been here in LA for six weeks now. A lot have happened in those six weeks. Thank God I found a job, or I would not have been able to stay here, he thought. Now he has job and a place to stay. The only thing still missing is Gracie. In all those weeks, he hasn't been able to look for her. Not that he didn't want to, but there just doesn't seem to be time to do it. What with balancing his schedule between his job, trips to the lawyer, the employment agency, and looking for a place to stay. I have to make time to find her, he said to himself.

He put on his jacket before leaving the car. He was laughing at himself for having to wear one at the beach, but he hasn't gotten used to the cold air that seems to be continually blowing almost everytime he comes here to watch the sunset. "And to think this is summer", he said to himself. "I wonder what it's like when it's winter?" he mused as he kept walking to get to his favorite place. He sat down and took his food out of the bag. He'd gotten the habit of eating his dinner here by the beach so he can watch the sunset at the same time. This is his time devoted only to Gracie. "Where can she be?" he asked himself. He sat there alone, just like the days before, thinking of Gracie. Not wanting to lose hope in finding her, but feeling the burden getting heavier with each passing day.

Gracie stretched as she turned off her computer. Thank God it's time to go home, she said to herself. "Boy, am I tired tonight", she whispers. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of popping another frozen dinner in the microwave. "Maybe I'll have dinner out tonight", she thought to herself. The more she thought about it on her way to her car, the more she liked the idea. "Where can I eat and relax at the same time?" she asked herself. She smiled and started the car, the smile getting wider as she firmly decided on where to go. I got time she told herself, as she turned and head to the direction of the beach.

She grabbed her coat as she left the car. It's starting to get chilly she told herself, wouldn't want to get sick just because I decided to have dinner near the beach. A memory surfaced and she shook her head to clear it. Maybe later she told herself. She took a seat next to the railings, gave her order to the waiter and let her eyes wander towards the horizon. "The sky is clear, this will be a good one," she said to herself.She ate dinner in silence, lost in her memories. She ordered coffee just as the sun begins its final descent.

There's less people walking around now. She looks towards the horizon as she lifts her cup to take a sip, and she froze. She focused some more at the lone figure sitting on the sand watching the sunset. "It can't be." she told herself. "The sun is playing tricks on you," she said. "But he looks so familiar." her mind argued. Without thinking, she pulled out some bills to pay for her dinner and rushed out of the restaurant. Quickly she runs towards that figure she saw sitting alone watching the sunset only to find him gone when she got there. She looked around hoping to catch a glimpse of him, anything that can confirm or deny what she thought she saw with her own eyes.


She walked back to her car shaking. She sat there staring ahead not noticing the tears freely flowing down on her face. "It can't be him!" she told herself. And she cried some more, not believing the pain she's feeling at the thought that it might be him. "It can't be him," she tried to say with more convition. "It must be the sun playing tricks because you've been straing at it for so long." Gracie wiped the tears from her eyes and started the car. She looks back one more time hoping the stranger might be there. She sighed, feeling another stab of pain gripping her. She left the beach wondering for the nth time if she made the right decision.