Recently, a friend asked me what to do in a situation where people are trying to ruin a good friendship. First I had to ask what kind of friendship it is. Is it the real kind or just a superficial one? People in their need to be accepted and loved always make this mistake. Sometimes I think the idea of friendship is doubly hard for this friend of mine because she always have to be careful whether it's really her friendship they want or the just the benefits of being friends with her. She's a very good person and always sees the good in others, but she's also very rich and I've seen people take advantage of that fact while pretending to be her friend. She's very smart but sometimes so naive when it comes to friends and relationships in general.
She tends to be very generous to people around her and sometimes, people just looking in would take it the wrong way. Most of the time she ignores what other people say, but there are times when I guess it gets to be too much. She's also very sweet and this too can cause problems where it shouldn't. But this is her natural self. How can a person change what is natural even for the sake of friendship? Answer is you don't. If the so-called friends can't handle it, then maybe they're not friends after all.
Communication is a good way to figure things out. If the shadow cannot be lifted, then maybe it's time to look behind and through the shadow to see what is real. Is it only other people talking or is it something else? Finding out the truth is important. Sometimes truth will hurt, but I think in the long run it's what matters. Some would say that there will be instances where hiding the truth can be a better choice, but then, can we hide the truth forever?
One of the hardest thing to do is letting go, especially of someone you consider a dear friend. But sometimes, it is necessary and you will be better for it. Maybe not happier, but you'll learn to accept that in time.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Saturday, October 15, 2005
if the shoe fits...
| Your Personality Is |
You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas. You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy! Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people. In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally. You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought. Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals. In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent. At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia. With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well. As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly. On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things. |
my brain's pattern?
| Your Brain's Pattern |
 Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama. Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time... But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you. You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading. |
Sunday, September 18, 2005
violin lessons
I have now officially conquered 3 songs on the violin and am perfecting my 4th. Though it is not by any standards what you may call professional playing, I'm proud to say that I did it on my own steam or rather by using my ears. After 3 weeks, with only half hour practice about every other day, I think I'm doing okay. ;)
Sunday, September 11, 2005
'that_girl'
She cries on the grave, no one hears her
But the souls that gently watch over her
She can't stop her tears, nobody can
Her pain is too much to bear, she no longer can
She sits on the stone, hugging her knees
Her cries disturbing the place's peace
Hoping he would come, she lifted her head
But all she can see is fog covering the road ahead
The wolves are crying, sharing her sorrow
The night is long, is there still tomorrow?
I opened my eyes and saw myself here
On the same stone that girl sat and fought her fear
Is she just a dream lurking on my side?
Or is she a reality I cannot hide?
- written by my daughter Kyla :)
But the souls that gently watch over her
She can't stop her tears, nobody can
Her pain is too much to bear, she no longer can
She sits on the stone, hugging her knees
Her cries disturbing the place's peace
Hoping he would come, she lifted her head
But all she can see is fog covering the road ahead
The wolves are crying, sharing her sorrow
The night is long, is there still tomorrow?
I opened my eyes and saw myself here
On the same stone that girl sat and fought her fear
Is she just a dream lurking on my side?
Or is she a reality I cannot hide?
- written by my daughter Kyla :)
Monday, August 29, 2005
midlife crisis
It must have been! What else could have pushed me to try and learn how to play the violin? People say that's it's one of the hardest instruments to learn... I'm beginning to see they're right. Aside from the fact that I know nothing about the violin, I only know the very basic when it comes to reading music. My only saving grace, my ears are so sharp that I hear every single note that someone missed, including my own.
All is not lost, though. My honey's mom taught me how to get the right sound from the violin, the "do re mi" as I call it. She also taught me how to hold the violin, which of course I'm having a terrible time of doing. Not to mention that my wrist is now bandaged because it hurts from the un-natural way it's twisted just to hold the violin right. But in all, some good came out of it. I got "Mary Had A Little Lamb" screaming out of the violin, sometimes sounding good most times sounding like a cat trying to sing while it's tail is being stepped on. And all this, I'm proud to say with less than half an hour of informal lesssons. I even got part of "Silent Night", though I keep missing one note since I could not figure out which spot I should put my finger on. I never realized how hard it is to try and remember where exactly I've placed my finger while looking on something so close and horizontal in my line of vision. Of course, I still haven't mentioned how hard it is to hit one string at a time with a bow.
Hah! I knew this sudden desire to learn the violin cannot be considered normal, much less sane, seeing I never have a day off and don't have time to do anything but work. But then again, I can just hear my friend say, "since when have you ever been normal?" And that would settle the issue.
Hopefully, I'd have one song under my belt in a month's time (I mean play it like I'd like to listen to myself play). Then I can decide if I really want to continue this madness. Is it midlife crisis? What do you think?
All is not lost, though. My honey's mom taught me how to get the right sound from the violin, the "do re mi" as I call it. She also taught me how to hold the violin, which of course I'm having a terrible time of doing. Not to mention that my wrist is now bandaged because it hurts from the un-natural way it's twisted just to hold the violin right. But in all, some good came out of it. I got "Mary Had A Little Lamb" screaming out of the violin, sometimes sounding good most times sounding like a cat trying to sing while it's tail is being stepped on. And all this, I'm proud to say with less than half an hour of informal lesssons. I even got part of "Silent Night", though I keep missing one note since I could not figure out which spot I should put my finger on. I never realized how hard it is to try and remember where exactly I've placed my finger while looking on something so close and horizontal in my line of vision. Of course, I still haven't mentioned how hard it is to hit one string at a time with a bow.
Hah! I knew this sudden desire to learn the violin cannot be considered normal, much less sane, seeing I never have a day off and don't have time to do anything but work. But then again, I can just hear my friend say, "since when have you ever been normal?" And that would settle the issue.
Hopefully, I'd have one song under my belt in a month's time (I mean play it like I'd like to listen to myself play). Then I can decide if I really want to continue this madness. Is it midlife crisis? What do you think?
Sunday, August 21, 2005
more views of san diego
Now isn't this sign weird? First it said authorized parking only, then it tells you to go slow and finally stop! BEER GARDEN!!!! ;p
on friendship
When do friendships start and when does it end?
Friendships start with the meeting of two people and find that there is a connection between them that surpasses their own mundane existence. Friendship like love or breathing cannot be denied. To do so would be to deny life itself. It is essential for a person's sanity and for whatever peace we see in this world. It makes one aware not only of oneself but of the people around him. It provides the feeling of being loved and needed, a necessary lift when one is down, a safe haven in times of trouble, a chance to be YOU.
Do friendships end? Unfortunately, they do, sometimes for the slightest of reasons, and sadly through no fault of our own. A person I've never met gave me this advice on letting go, very wise and heartfelt. I thanked him for it but the best expression of gratitude I can give him is to share his advice to others.
"Memories are milestones in life's journey. Look back on your journey and remember him for milestones he helped you put on your path. Then look ahead to where you are going, knowing always that those memories are going to be there when you need them... to guide you, to help you make the next big choices of your journey..."
Friendship is about honesty and about things friends can conquer while being honest with each other. It is about faith and loyalty. But it is also about love, caring and giving. It is everything that is good and we must remember that no bad thing can come out of true friendship. We just have to believe...
Friendships start with the meeting of two people and find that there is a connection between them that surpasses their own mundane existence. Friendship like love or breathing cannot be denied. To do so would be to deny life itself. It is essential for a person's sanity and for whatever peace we see in this world. It makes one aware not only of oneself but of the people around him. It provides the feeling of being loved and needed, a necessary lift when one is down, a safe haven in times of trouble, a chance to be YOU.
Do friendships end? Unfortunately, they do, sometimes for the slightest of reasons, and sadly through no fault of our own. A person I've never met gave me this advice on letting go, very wise and heartfelt. I thanked him for it but the best expression of gratitude I can give him is to share his advice to others.
"Memories are milestones in life's journey. Look back on your journey and remember him for milestones he helped you put on your path. Then look ahead to where you are going, knowing always that those memories are going to be there when you need them... to guide you, to help you make the next big choices of your journey..."
Friendship is about honesty and about things friends can conquer while being honest with each other. It is about faith and loyalty. But it is also about love, caring and giving. It is everything that is good and we must remember that no bad thing can come out of true friendship. We just have to believe...
