Once in a while something happens that makes you question every single thing around you. Last January 22nd was one of those days you'd wish never happened. I was busy minding my own business on my way to work stopping as the traffic light hovers between yellow and red and thinking what kind of breakfast I should get along with my hazelnut coffee when BAM! I've been rear-ended by some dude who thinks that he can beat the red light with me blocking his way. It really makes me wonder how anyone can think of going faster than the car in front of them and actually thinks they can get away without having an accident.
And so, information changed hands... all was well... at least up to that point where I dialed my sister's cellphone number, only to realize that no one would be answering my call. After that, forget it. I was a mess. The accident was nothing compared to the impact of realization that my sister is forever gone.
The car, now in the shop for repairs, my body, hopefully on the mend, and my mind, thankfully too drugged up to care about anything else. And so days passed and I am precariously doing a balancing act. With everything that's happened, I cannot help but be amazed that I am still here trying to accept reality as it tries to bite more chunks of what little sanity I have left in me.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
Another Birthday...
One whole year has passed. Once again, here I am celebrating my birthday. Last year's birthday was the first one in years to be celebrated with almost everyone in the family present... yes, my Dad went away too soon to be with us that day. And this year, what makes it even sadder is the fact that we are now two members of the family short... this time, it was my sister who passed away last December. It's hard to live day to day without their presence. I guess I'm just too used to having them around all the time or at least after my case or just a phone call away.
Looking back, I at least can say, I have partially fulfilled my promise to my Dad. I know, partial is not enough, but I'm sure he understands why it has to be that way... at least for now.
Nothing can ever make up for the loss of my Dad and my sister. Be as it may, I am still thankful for a lot of things that came my way.
To Tatay ang Ate Beth - both of you made it a point of looking after everyone else. I think that's the reason why even now that both of you are gone, we still go on as if we'd wake up and find both of you here, with us. It's been hard, first with Tatay gone, then Ate Beth... but just knowing how much we are loved by both of you is enough to keep us going. And for that, thank you.
To Glenn - I never thought I'd see myself do this, but thank you. Took me a long time to understand just who you were and how important you were in my life. Now I know. You were the push I needed to get me to where I'm supposed to be. Took a lot of pain, a lot of tears to get there, but I made it. I hope you've found happiness wherever you are, just as you have led me to mine without even knowing it. Again, thank you.
To Andre - the one true friend who stayed by my side at my worst. The only friend that I miss the most because I've lost you. I lost you when I left, It was all my fault I know. Now I am glad that you are with someone who loves you the way you deserved to be loved. I hope someday I'll be able to see you again and meet this lovely woman you chose to spend the rest of your life with. To you and your wife, thank you.
To Dibbs and her beloved - the two people who knows me better than I know myself. It's sometimes scary that both of you know what I'm thinking and what I'm going through even without me saying anything. Most of the time, both of you will say something just because you picked up something at the sound of my voice. Dibbs, you've always been an integral part of me. I could never have made it this far if you have not been there to guide me. Sometimes, just listening to me ramble on is enough to calm me down and make me see what it is I have to do. Beloved, you have this amazing knack of knowing when I need cheering up. It's like you have this massive antenna aimed at me telling you I needed someone to talk to. We've not seen each other in years, yet you have been present in everything that's happened in my life. Both of you have made life a little easier and no amount of gratitude can ever repay that. Know that I am also here for both of you whenever you need me. I love you both and am glad that I have the two of you in my life.
To Ralline, Ella and MaryAnn - the other 3 members of the Sistahuds. You all must think that I always get myself into a lot of unnecessary trouble. Yet, inspite of that you guys never wavered in your belief in me. Whatever it is, you just take everything in stride and still love me for what I am. I am so blessed to have friends like the three of you. Remember, I may not be with you physically, but you can always count on me.
To Pet, Bong and their respective wives - Years may pass without us seeing each other, but somehow, the bonds of friendship that we all share is made stronger. Everytime I go back, both of you always made me feel as if I've never left. Thanks to your wives for putting up with me ;)
To Nap and Family - Lost time because of distance and busy schedules. All these matters not. No matter how busy you were with your schedule, you always know when it's time to step in ang give me a much needed shaking, or a shoulder to cry on, or a joke to make me smile... even a song to remind me of how precious life can be especially with friends like you. Saying thank you will never be enough... To your wife, who I've met, thank you for treating me like an old friend even though we've only seen each other once. I'm so glad that Nap found you or is it you who found him? Much love to both of you and to your little one.
To my ex-husband and his wife - I will pray that you finally get what you've both been hoping for. I'll have this as part of my birthday wish...
To my Mom - I know it is hard, first to lose the man you love, then to lose a daughter, in a span of 13 months. I know because I too am feeling the loss. There is nothing much I can give you at this point, our loss can never be recovered, but I'm still here and your grandchildren are here. We've always joked that you are my sister's Mom and I am my father's daughter, but behind that joke, we all knew that we are family and we are loved.
To Kyla - I hope you finally find it in you to be strong, just as I know you are. All you need is to believe in yourself and you will find that elusive happiness you always seem to be losing. I know happiness can come from being in love, but beyond that true happiness is being true to yourself, accepting what you are and finding happiness in it. Believe and you will become.
To Axel - I have placed a lot of responsibilities on your shoulders at such a young age. And though you never complained, I know how hard it must be for you. Keep believing and keep dreaming...
To my other friends - no, you have not been forgotten. I hold you all close to my heart.
To the source of my happiness - yes, this time, aside from my kids, there is someone else. Thank you. I may not be able to express myself as clearly as I would like, but that's just the way it is. Never for a moment doubt what I've told you, I have doubted myself enough for the both of us. For everything that's been said, I can only thank my lucky stars that anything was said at all. For more that's been left unsaid... maybe someday we'll know.
Looking back, I at least can say, I have partially fulfilled my promise to my Dad. I know, partial is not enough, but I'm sure he understands why it has to be that way... at least for now.
Nothing can ever make up for the loss of my Dad and my sister. Be as it may, I am still thankful for a lot of things that came my way.
To Tatay ang Ate Beth - both of you made it a point of looking after everyone else. I think that's the reason why even now that both of you are gone, we still go on as if we'd wake up and find both of you here, with us. It's been hard, first with Tatay gone, then Ate Beth... but just knowing how much we are loved by both of you is enough to keep us going. And for that, thank you.
To Glenn - I never thought I'd see myself do this, but thank you. Took me a long time to understand just who you were and how important you were in my life. Now I know. You were the push I needed to get me to where I'm supposed to be. Took a lot of pain, a lot of tears to get there, but I made it. I hope you've found happiness wherever you are, just as you have led me to mine without even knowing it. Again, thank you.
To Andre - the one true friend who stayed by my side at my worst. The only friend that I miss the most because I've lost you. I lost you when I left, It was all my fault I know. Now I am glad that you are with someone who loves you the way you deserved to be loved. I hope someday I'll be able to see you again and meet this lovely woman you chose to spend the rest of your life with. To you and your wife, thank you.
To Dibbs and her beloved - the two people who knows me better than I know myself. It's sometimes scary that both of you know what I'm thinking and what I'm going through even without me saying anything. Most of the time, both of you will say something just because you picked up something at the sound of my voice. Dibbs, you've always been an integral part of me. I could never have made it this far if you have not been there to guide me. Sometimes, just listening to me ramble on is enough to calm me down and make me see what it is I have to do. Beloved, you have this amazing knack of knowing when I need cheering up. It's like you have this massive antenna aimed at me telling you I needed someone to talk to. We've not seen each other in years, yet you have been present in everything that's happened in my life. Both of you have made life a little easier and no amount of gratitude can ever repay that. Know that I am also here for both of you whenever you need me. I love you both and am glad that I have the two of you in my life.
To Ralline, Ella and MaryAnn - the other 3 members of the Sistahuds. You all must think that I always get myself into a lot of unnecessary trouble. Yet, inspite of that you guys never wavered in your belief in me. Whatever it is, you just take everything in stride and still love me for what I am. I am so blessed to have friends like the three of you. Remember, I may not be with you physically, but you can always count on me.
To Pet, Bong and their respective wives - Years may pass without us seeing each other, but somehow, the bonds of friendship that we all share is made stronger. Everytime I go back, both of you always made me feel as if I've never left. Thanks to your wives for putting up with me ;)
To Nap and Family - Lost time because of distance and busy schedules. All these matters not. No matter how busy you were with your schedule, you always know when it's time to step in ang give me a much needed shaking, or a shoulder to cry on, or a joke to make me smile... even a song to remind me of how precious life can be especially with friends like you. Saying thank you will never be enough... To your wife, who I've met, thank you for treating me like an old friend even though we've only seen each other once. I'm so glad that Nap found you or is it you who found him? Much love to both of you and to your little one.
To my ex-husband and his wife - I will pray that you finally get what you've both been hoping for. I'll have this as part of my birthday wish...
To my Mom - I know it is hard, first to lose the man you love, then to lose a daughter, in a span of 13 months. I know because I too am feeling the loss. There is nothing much I can give you at this point, our loss can never be recovered, but I'm still here and your grandchildren are here. We've always joked that you are my sister's Mom and I am my father's daughter, but behind that joke, we all knew that we are family and we are loved.
To Kyla - I hope you finally find it in you to be strong, just as I know you are. All you need is to believe in yourself and you will find that elusive happiness you always seem to be losing. I know happiness can come from being in love, but beyond that true happiness is being true to yourself, accepting what you are and finding happiness in it. Believe and you will become.
To Axel - I have placed a lot of responsibilities on your shoulders at such a young age. And though you never complained, I know how hard it must be for you. Keep believing and keep dreaming...
To my other friends - no, you have not been forgotten. I hold you all close to my heart.
To the source of my happiness - yes, this time, aside from my kids, there is someone else. Thank you. I may not be able to express myself as clearly as I would like, but that's just the way it is. Never for a moment doubt what I've told you, I have doubted myself enough for the both of us. For everything that's been said, I can only thank my lucky stars that anything was said at all. For more that's been left unsaid... maybe someday we'll know.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
A much needed break...
Finally went off and had a real vacation. Just a short one, but very much needed to get me recharged. Flew out of Ontario airport @ 8:15am and arrived at Cleveland airport at 4:30pm. It was just a 5 hour flight, but there is a 3 hour time difference.
As expected, I got shell shocked with the cold weather, although I was assured that at high 30's it's actually pretty warm. But, no matter, I was just so excited to see snow everywhere I look. Thankfully, my host picked me up as agreed upon... either that or he doesn't get his order of El Pollo Loco chicken, he he. Went off to pass by Best Buy to get Resident Evil: Extinction dvd. Spent a quiet night watching it after dinner, well, quiet aside from my screams ;p
After that one quiet night, it's tourist mode! Here's some pics I took from this trip, the rest you can find at my multiply site...
As expected, I got shell shocked with the cold weather, although I was assured that at high 30's it's actually pretty warm. But, no matter, I was just so excited to see snow everywhere I look. Thankfully, my host picked me up as agreed upon... either that or he doesn't get his order of El Pollo Loco chicken, he he. Went off to pass by Best Buy to get Resident Evil: Extinction dvd. Spent a quiet night watching it after dinner, well, quiet aside from my screams ;p
After that one quiet night, it's tourist mode! Here's some pics I took from this trip, the rest you can find at my multiply site...
It was a weird feeling going on a vacation. I guess, I'm not used to it. Don't have to wake up early, no need to prepare breakfast, lunch or dinner, no need to rush anywhere, and no traffic. Most of the places we went to, I would not go to by myself. But that's what I promised myself I would do... do things that I don't normally do when I'm in LA. So, I got a hefty taste of culture. Ohio has plenty of museums to choose from, ranging from natural history, to music, to science and contemporary art. I even got attached to one of the paintings and bought myself a poster of it The Dream by Salvador Dali
There were some activities planned that did not push through, mainly because it rained and the snow melted. A little disappointed, yes, but I won't miss it. Who would actually look forward to either falling flat on your face or smack down on your butt? Skiing, I mean (which I haven't done, maybe next time). There's also that rock climbing which was thankfully closed by the time we got there... to high for me, thank you ;p I'm afraid I'm not the sporty type, but had there been snow, then I would have tried it, of course... gotta do it at least once in my lifetime.
There might have been things that I was not able to do, but there were certainly things that I did for the first time, and boy! that in itself was a novelty and so much fun. Driving in the snow... while raining, stepping on real snow (not the type that comes out of machines), touching it, just seeing it everywhere you turn... Snow overdose!!! So sad it went away so soon. Cleveland hit their record high temperature the weekend I was there, ergo, melted snow.
Ah, but the food... it's real food, with flavor and not the usual bland taste of American food. I was told that it's because most of the produce are really fresh from the farms. Blueberry cream hotcakes... dreamy. I would not normally eat something like that, too sweet, but this one, I liked very much. Dinner at Pier W is something I would like to do again. Not only was the view breathtaking, the food was excellent, the staff great... my "date"? well, not really... my host for the evening, although he complains too much that I'm too quiet, is great company. He just won't give up on trying to extract information from me... personal ones at that, hay!
I met "the walking dead"... she's a local waitress at a great diner (won't mention it in case she protests, he he). No complaints about the food, in fact we went back so I can try their famous omelette. But man! She is one hell of a character. We couldn't stop laughing. She's the only person I've heard speak as if... she was really dead... very flat tone of voice, no variation in pitch whatsoever and she moves ever so slowly and looked too dazed to know what she was doing. I still crack up everytime I think of her... maybe next time I'll take a video of her and put her up on youtube.
I even got to go to a bar to watch the game between OSU and LSU. Now this is something I've never done before, nor would I do it if it was only me(not a football fan, sowee). But it turned out to be so much fun! It was certainly amusing to watch the whole place erupt with cheers for Ohio State and boos for the other team. It's contagious, I tell you, pretty soon I was as loud as they were. And although they did not win this time it was still so much fun... not to mention I got to drink beer (Guiness), the first in 11 years and got to taste that famous garlic wings ;)
And not to forget, people over there, also don't know how to drive, wah ha ha. I was only there a couple of days, and though they are pretty easy going with their driving, I think they should go back to driving school.
Still so many things to do, and sadly, so little time. To some, going to Cleveland might sound tame for a vacation, but that's just exactly what I needed. Some peace and quiet... a slow kind of existence. Everything was perfect!!! Down to my host's incessant complaints about my bouts of silence and his insistence that I did not want to do what I think was fun with him. Fun is relative, and I am easy to please.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
life cut short...
Elizabeth Bedia MagaruOctober 14, 1957 - December 5, 2007
My sister, Ate Beth, died of cardiac arrest at 1:53am of December 5, 2007.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
A life left behind...
A few years back, I left the Philippines for the land of milk and honey. I did not want to go, certainly never meant to stay, but circumstances necessitated my journey and responsibilities warranted me to stay. I made my choices, and though at times I think about what could have been if I had not left, I am here, living a different life.
A life left behind... I beg to differ. I did not leave my life. I am living it. A different place, a different time, with different friends, but most certainly still my life. Some friends, now long gone, still, some remained the same. Life changes for sure, but life is never left behind.
Change... sometimes it is hard to keep up. Oftentimes we blame others for imposing changes in our lives. But change we must, because it is the only way to move on, to live life, to be alive. We can spend all our time looking back, wishing to get back what we lost, hoping to go back to what we had... wanting that life we left behind, but it would all be in vain. For time has moved on and what once was can never be again. It is hard, I kid you not, but live in the present we must, for it is all we have. What we make of our present will set the foundations of our past and pave the way for our future.
Choices... I made a lot of them, some good, others never to be repeated. All done with good intentions, these choices nevertheless imposed my will on others. Regrets? I think not. At times, I still question the wisdom of choices I made, only to realize that there is no need to wonder, but there is a need to understand, and a need to accept the choices made and the consequences that came with it.
As a parent, I had to make choices. I must initiate change. Years ago, I questioned why there was a need for me to follow. That is the folly of the young. I now realize, there will always be a time in one's life where we need to follow and a time when we will have to lead. When I was young, I followed and I questioned... now that I am older, I lead and get questioned. A life left behind... had I kept looking back, I would not be where I am now. I would not have seen the places I have been, nor would I have met the people I know now. I would have missed the opportunity life had given me, and that would have been the greatest tragedy... a life not lived because of the desire for that life left behind.
A life left behind... I beg to differ. I did not leave my life. I am living it. A different place, a different time, with different friends, but most certainly still my life. Some friends, now long gone, still, some remained the same. Life changes for sure, but life is never left behind.
Change... sometimes it is hard to keep up. Oftentimes we blame others for imposing changes in our lives. But change we must, because it is the only way to move on, to live life, to be alive. We can spend all our time looking back, wishing to get back what we lost, hoping to go back to what we had... wanting that life we left behind, but it would all be in vain. For time has moved on and what once was can never be again. It is hard, I kid you not, but live in the present we must, for it is all we have. What we make of our present will set the foundations of our past and pave the way for our future.
Choices... I made a lot of them, some good, others never to be repeated. All done with good intentions, these choices nevertheless imposed my will on others. Regrets? I think not. At times, I still question the wisdom of choices I made, only to realize that there is no need to wonder, but there is a need to understand, and a need to accept the choices made and the consequences that came with it.
As a parent, I had to make choices. I must initiate change. Years ago, I questioned why there was a need for me to follow. That is the folly of the young. I now realize, there will always be a time in one's life where we need to follow and a time when we will have to lead. When I was young, I followed and I questioned... now that I am older, I lead and get questioned. A life left behind... had I kept looking back, I would not be where I am now. I would not have seen the places I have been, nor would I have met the people I know now. I would have missed the opportunity life had given me, and that would have been the greatest tragedy... a life not lived because of the desire for that life left behind.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
A Big Thank You
Wow! This is the first time I got an award for my blog, and such a great one too... I would like to thank Rachel, of Heart of Rachel for this award. I never thought blogging would be such a rewarding experience and a great way to gain new even if virtual friends.
I too would like to share this award to some people, who in one way or the other touched my life.
Ralline - She's a big woman with an even bigger heart, thoughtful and generous to her friends and totally dedicated to her family. She made my entire family feel like an extension of her own family. I feel really blessed to be her friend.
Ella - Usually the silent one in our group, but don't let that fool you. I admire her drive to go places and simply enjoy what life has to offer, as is evident with every picture she takes. A woman with very few but always meaningful words.
Carl - We've never really been together. I haven't seen him in years, but I always have this comfortable feeling about him. I am a great admirer of his work (Zsa Zsa Zaturna, among other things), not to mention he's been my "Papa Carl" for as long as I've known him ;)
Thursday, November 08, 2007
two things...
Hu hu hu... my poor hand. Sprained a tendon (accdg. to Dr.) on my left wrist while re-shelving books at work. Since they are very strict with injuries at work, I had to go see a doctor right away. Waited long... as we all tend to do when we want to see a doctor. The Doc squeezed and twisted my wrist which made it hurt all the more. Now it hurts more than when I first got to the hospital to see him. And so he needed to give me pain killers which would render ME inoperable or rather incapacitated for the next couple of days.And then I saw this(car on fire) on my way to my other job...
So I just said to myself, someone's day is worse than my own... shouldn't complain, hay!
So I just said to myself, someone's day is worse than my own... shouldn't complain, hay!Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Halloween 2007
One of the fellows at work brought this mask for Halloween and was kind enough to let me borrow it so I can have a picture of me in a costume... pretty cool ! spoon nose ;)Monday, October 29, 2007
torture week
I have now been officially stuck indoors for a week. The wildfires made it impossible for me to go out for extended periods. Last week, I thought I was having a heart attack when I cannot breath all of a sudden. I had to stop walking and take gulps of breaths to no avail... I walked on to get inside the library and started inhaling and exhaling. Mind you, if I wasn't able to breath properly after 5 more minutes I probably would have called 911, never mind my phobia of emergency rooms.
Fortunately, after a few more minutes I seem to be okay. I did call my doctor just to be sure. She wanted me to go to the ER in the beginning, but I said unless I'm about to die, I don't think the ER is an option. Who would relish having to wait for hours for some resident to take a look at you then send you home? Not to mention the cost of going in the first place. So she asked me to tell her everything that happened, what I felt, etc. And I did. Turns out that since it's been really windy and the fact the we had 16 fires going all over California, smoke has a way of getting in your lungs even though you're miles away from the fire itself. Solution? Stay indoors, close all windows and doors, have the aircondition at recycled air, do not drive with windows open, have an air purifier on at all times, limit outside exposure at a minimum... and on and on and on... man I have more things to remember for this than when I hurt my back.
I am now a little cranky for not being able to do anything, not that I do a lot of things, but just the thought of "can't do it because" is enough to irritate the hell out of me. TV helped a little, the internet surely, but boy! hopefully the air clears a bit so it'll at least be "safe" to go outdoors again. Hopefully my excitement over my new bike won't wane by the time I can do it again...
The only good thing out of these fires? A really spectacular sunrise. Yes, it looks like a sunset, but it really is sunrise... I guess air quality still very low, but hey, you do get to enjoy the view.
Fortunately, after a few more minutes I seem to be okay. I did call my doctor just to be sure. She wanted me to go to the ER in the beginning, but I said unless I'm about to die, I don't think the ER is an option. Who would relish having to wait for hours for some resident to take a look at you then send you home? Not to mention the cost of going in the first place. So she asked me to tell her everything that happened, what I felt, etc. And I did. Turns out that since it's been really windy and the fact the we had 16 fires going all over California, smoke has a way of getting in your lungs even though you're miles away from the fire itself. Solution? Stay indoors, close all windows and doors, have the aircondition at recycled air, do not drive with windows open, have an air purifier on at all times, limit outside exposure at a minimum... and on and on and on... man I have more things to remember for this than when I hurt my back.
I am now a little cranky for not being able to do anything, not that I do a lot of things, but just the thought of "can't do it because" is enough to irritate the hell out of me. TV helped a little, the internet surely, but boy! hopefully the air clears a bit so it'll at least be "safe" to go outdoors again. Hopefully my excitement over my new bike won't wane by the time I can do it again...
The only good thing out of these fires? A really spectacular sunrise. Yes, it looks like a sunset, but it really is sunrise... I guess air quality still very low, but hey, you do get to enjoy the view.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
great times
Lantern Parade (UP Diliman) '90 or '91
I can't believe it! A picture from about 16 years ago... (from Igor). I miss those days...
Sunday, October 21, 2007
new hobby...
I recently bought a new bike... maybe now I can have some sort of exercise ;p
At Venice Beach after a long ride on my new bike...
Kyla's sporting a new "pink" bike... hopefully this will help her lose the extra pound she thinks she has (don't ask me where... surely a teenager's thing)
Stopping for a much needed snack and drink. Good thing all 3 bikes fit in our car. Happy Birthday Mom and Sis
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Sunday Scribblings #81
My first act as Queen of the World would be...
Oh my, no question about it... it will have to be to have Pierce Brosnan over for dinner. What?! Can't I do that? I can, I am Queen of the World am I not? It's just that I've been a fan of his for so long and I have yet to see him in person. Now with that taken cared of, we can move on to other stuff :)
*violence would have to be eradicated. I've seen enough of it to last me a thousand lifetimes.
*ice cream should be free ;p
----hmm... maybe add chocolate to that too...
*create a cleaner, greener world.
*coffee/tea time a must everyday.
*husbands should take their wives out to dinner at least once a week (vise versa)...wives should cook dinner at least once a week (vise versa)
... but seriously? Queen of the World? It's going to be one tough job...
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Sunday Scribblings #80
I just found this blog and would like to try my hand at it.
What it is: Sunday Scribblings was set up to provide inspiration and motivation for anyone who enjoys writing and would like a weekly challenge.
How it works?
* Every Saturday (or thereabouts!) we'll post a writing prompt. (No, not on Sunday because then you can post your writing on Sunday!)
* You create a piece of writing inspired by that writing prompt.
* You post your writing on your blog and leave a comment here to let us know you have participated. (Please try to leave us the perma-link to the actual post if you can!)
* We'll publish the links here for people to follow and read!
I will be starting at #80 - First Job, Worst Job, Dream Job
First real job... one that I regularly get paid for, was for a pharmaceutical company. It was a full-time, temp job, classified as "auxiliary promotions". As the title implied, it was to promote a newly released drug (high dose antibiotics). My job was like a typical medical representative, without the pressure of having to make a quota. I loved this job. I met a lot of interesting people, made a lot of friends and got to visit places I've never been to. The best part was when you get to sit down and talk to the doctors at length (at times, not even job related), and to the patients, somewhat sharing their lives for a short while.
I don't think I have one that qualifies for the worst job. In a way I guess I've been lucky. I did move around quite a bit, sort of trying to find my niche in society. I've worked mostly in my own field of interest which is library science, so yep, I am a librarian, through and through. Did some consulting jobs, was an assistant and moved to being head librarian. I got to work in different kinds of libraries too, from public, private, non-profit orgs, and school libraries. I think I enjoyed school libraries the most, not only because I have a lot to do everyday, but I also get to teach kids what fun libraries are. It's always heartwarming to see a kid find joy in sitting down quietly in one corner and read.
All that changed when I uprooted myself from my comfort zone and moved to the United States. Here, I got to try all sorts of jobs, from activities coordinator in a retirement home, to a receptionist/all around office person, customer service and even a tiny bit of accounting, before finally landing where I am right now... yep! you guessed right, in a library. I love working in a library. Aside from the obvious quiet environment, I get to read to my hearts content, surf the web, learn new things and help my always seemingly lost students.
As for my dream job? Hmmm... I don't really know, simply because I haven't even started going that way. I would eventually like to take up a course in culinary arts, not only because we (everyone in the family), love to eat, but also because I love trying new things in the kitchen. As with everything else, not all endeavors turn out right, but hey! I can always try again. So, the dream job? maybe a chef? but it has to be my own business. That way, I also get to be the boss :)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Remembering...
The light played tricks on the wooden mahogany box sitting on the table. Shadows danced, a faint lavander perfume permeates the air, the silence deafening, the heart heavy as memories rush forth unbidden.
A year... has it been that already? Somehow it still feels like yesterday. I can never forget that moment when I received a text message saying you have been rushed to the hospital. News were not forthcoming. The country had just been buffeted by a vicious storm and phone lines are bad if not downright busted. Suddenly, my world came crashing down. The source of my strength weakened as you lie in your hospital bed. I wanted to be there, but we were, literally, oceans apart. By the time I came, you were gone.
I blamed myself. I could not grieve, could not even shed a tear. Death took you, just when we were about to live life. All the planning, all the sacrifices, the loneliness... it almost amounted to nothing. But even in death as sure as if you'd been alive, you made sure that everything will turn out right.
I hear your voice in my solitude, gently reminding me of my promise... telling me to believe. I hear your laughter when I do things just as you would, I see your tears when I cry, and I feel you, just as if you were here by my side. The past year has not been easy, and it will not be for years to come. Grief is just beginning to sink in, but I take comfort in knowing that you reside here in my heart.
Words will never be enough. I love you, Tatay.
A year... has it been that already? Somehow it still feels like yesterday. I can never forget that moment when I received a text message saying you have been rushed to the hospital. News were not forthcoming. The country had just been buffeted by a vicious storm and phone lines are bad if not downright busted. Suddenly, my world came crashing down. The source of my strength weakened as you lie in your hospital bed. I wanted to be there, but we were, literally, oceans apart. By the time I came, you were gone.
I blamed myself. I could not grieve, could not even shed a tear. Death took you, just when we were about to live life. All the planning, all the sacrifices, the loneliness... it almost amounted to nothing. But even in death as sure as if you'd been alive, you made sure that everything will turn out right.
I hear your voice in my solitude, gently reminding me of my promise... telling me to believe. I hear your laughter when I do things just as you would, I see your tears when I cry, and I feel you, just as if you were here by my side. The past year has not been easy, and it will not be for years to come. Grief is just beginning to sink in, but I take comfort in knowing that you reside here in my heart.
Words will never be enough. I love you, Tatay.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
Friday, October 05, 2007
Photohunt - CURVY
Taken at the Griffith Observatory. I remember seeing this exhibit and thinking how nice it must be to see such beauty up close. One of the things we can thank technology for... a chance to see the beauty of what's beyond the limits of our horizon.Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
PhotoHunt - Original
First science project - This is my son's very first science project when he first started school here in California. It took us a lot of re-shaping before we got the marble to go straight through the tube.